For much of my life, I was driven by ego esteem rather than self esteem, seeking validation through titles, degrees, and performance. While I raised by deeply loving, encouraging, and affectionate parents, I internalized the societal and cultural programs that surrounded me. I believed I “should” behave in certain ways in order to be accepted. I carried the people pleasing, over helping behaviours endemic to many women of my generation, and previous generations. As an ambitious woman of color from an immigrant background, I felt the need to over perform and achieve not just for myself, but for all of those I represented. I was haunted by imposter syndrome. To complicate matters, as an empath, I often could not recognize if what I was feeling was my own emotions or those of others; my inner compass was blurry. Growing up between cultures, the balance between individual needs and collective responsibilities was confusing. From this unexamined state, I defaulted to negating my needs for belonging and trading boundaries for the illusion of social safety. I did this until I knew the cost was too high - I could feel my creative energy leaking. Moreover, this way of being lacked fulfillment. I always ended up in the same place: not feeling I was enough and needing to perform more.

It took many years to cultivate genuine self esteem, the self worth that is generated from a place of deep honouring and acceptance of my authentic self. The kind of self love that doesn’t require performing. I arrived at that place through doing intense inner work - I worked with several coaches and teachers to explore my shadows and unearth my deeper self. The path wasn’t easy and I received a lot of pushback from my shadow selves - the martyr, the rescuer, the damsel, the perfectionist, and “the good girl” wanted to continue to direct my life. Supported by a new a way of being, I cultivated the capacities to transcend and include my old selves, taking their gifts and leaving behind their chains. I am grateful to my shadow selves for teaching me profound lessons in self love.

My personal development journey was further accelerated when I became a parent, nearly a decade ago. I had to learn how to consciously parent and meet my children with unconditional positive regard. As I accepted more and more parts of myself, I noticed there was more space inside of me to hold and honour my children’s emerging identities, including the beautiful, hard, and mysterious aspects. There was a direct connection between the love and acceptance I offered myself and what I could offer my children. While it appears we are raising our children, in fact, they are our teachers, if we accept their lessons.

The growth I experienced through motherhood also led to shifts in my leadership development at work.  In becoming a parent, I had to learn to fully trust myself, to let go of the outcome, to allow space for failure. In doing this, I created more space for creativity within my work and became a better manager, one who could nurture the growth and creativity of others.  

Coaching has played a tremendous role in my personal growth journey, so much so that I decided to become a certified coach myself. For most of my career, I have done some form of coaching - guiding others to realize their own visions and goals, designing empowerment programs, and helping women develop greater agency. As a person who grew up in a multicultural environment and has worked with people from cultures from all over the world, I have a special ability to connect with people from diverse backgrounds. Many of my clients have told me that they felt deeply seen and understood by me, despite differences in our cultural backgrounds. Both my lived experiences and career training have equipped me to be a coach who can hold space for a broad span of consciousness.

Coaching, when done well, is a magical tool for self transformation and creative liberation. It is a gift that I feel honoured to share with others. For the conscious coach, coaching is beloved and sacred work.